29 July 2004

Republicans and Democrats

After a discovery of C-span.org I’ve been enjoying watching the Democratic National Convention, as well as other assorted political whatnot. I haven’t been able to get to Bush’s campaign website because my computer won’t load it so it was good to hear his stump speech from last year. A couple of observations:

John Edwards, I love you buddy, but if you give that doe-eyed, I’m-the-son-of-a-mill-workers-daughter look one more time, I think I’m going to have to ralph. Seriously, watching John Edwards speak is like eating ten Snickers bars in a row. By the time everyone was chanting “THE POLITICS OF HOPE,” I had to stop.

Barack Obama. Remember that name.

Bill Clinton, I’ve decided, is not Satan. I’ve been misled, I think. I saw a speech he gave about his book, mostly about how great it is that we can disagree in the States and not have to hate each other. If there’s one thing I learned at college, it was that even though you disagree with someone, it doesn’t mean you can’t live together and enjoy one another.

Michael Moore and Bill O’Reilly arguing about what a “lie” is, is like watching two seals slap each other. Quick overview, Michael Moore thinks misleading someone based on faulty information is a lie. O’Reilly doesn’t. Also, Michael Moore wouldn’t die in Iraq, but Bill O’Reilly would, though he wouldn’t necessarily send his kid. Also, Michael Moore doesn’t want Bill O’Reilly to die.

I also have devised this easy one question quiz to determine your political party affiliation. Here we go:

Taxes are:

A) Bad.
B) Good

A makes you a Republican. B makes you a Democrat.

Or you can try this one:

The government is:

A) The problem.
B) The problem in every area of life except defense, homeland security and defining marriage as not gay.
C) Supposed to provide after-school programs for kids. Also, defense too. I don’t think the government should be weak on defense. Seriously. I don’t. John Kerry can kill. He’s a killer. Don’t think that he can’t kill.

For you A people, sorry, you have no party. B, well, I think that’s pretty clear which makes C pretty clear too, I guess.

Well, I’m a step away from the job. A step. Give me 48 hours. Maybe 72.
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