03 July 2004

English-Speaking Conventions

Well, kids, the heat of the apartment is turning out to be more oppressive than previously expected. And though I promptly remove my pants upon entering, I still can’t manage to stop sweating. I’m sure you all have great ideas for how I might cool down and I’m sure that I would love to hear them. So please.

Today, DK and I helped out at this Jr. High School’s English-Speaking Convention. It wasn’t really a convention, but I like the sound of convention. It was great and we met some 16/17 year-olds from New Zealand and Australia that I swore were the kids from Harry Potter. They kind of put the Americans to shame as they were trying very hard to do everything in the most Japanese way possible and, well, your country’s contingent wasn’t. They also had really important sounding names like “Juilan Nash” and “Something Lipton.” Anyway, I asked them about Kangaroos and whether or not you could use that pouch to carry stuff around, but this only led to a really boring description of what the pouch is actually for. I didn’t know this, but I guess Kangaroos are a nuisance in the “bush.” They run into cars and stuff. I was like, Ship some out to the States: We’ll appreciate their unique beauty and hopping, you brats.

The one kid who looked like the red-headed kid from Harry Potter (namely because he, uh, had red hair) is dating a Japanese girl so he rules.

I always have a hard time fitting into Japanese school slippers. Today I was like one of the older, ugly sisters in Cinderella.

I also went to karaoke for the first time on Wednesday and totally ruined Arvil’s “Complicated.” SORRY AVRIL!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO We had a good time, but the Dude here can’t A) sing well or sing badly in a funny way and B) dance or feel comfortable around people that are dancing. Especially an incredibly effeminate Japanese man who, talking about a picture of Michael Jackson and a bunch of kids, said he felt a lot of “sexual temptation.” Me and DK have been trying to figure out what he was trying to say and hoping he didn’t mean what he said.

If you receive a phone call from me asking who you’re going to vote for and why, don’t be alarmed. I’m just really confused. Once Tom moves back to the States, he will be next on my list as, though I know who he’s going to vote for, I think he’ll have something good to say about it. Get ready, buddy.

Finally, please read this speech by our former Vice President. Of course, many of you may think Al Gore is a dunce, but give it a chance.
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