16 February 2005

And queer not meaning gay

Have you seen Meet Joe Black? I have. And I'm watching it again. I love it. Can I say that? I love it. What a wonderful movie.

What a wonderfully dark movie. What I think is also just fabulous is that, you know when what's his name is dying and the voice says, "Yes?" Well, if you haven't that's what the voice says. Anyway, what's so fabulous is that the Japanese subtitle says, "Iesu" (in Japanese, of course) and "Iesu" is also the Japanese word for Jesus. So the voice says Jesus to him. I think this is fabulous not in some evangelical way, like maybe the voice is saying that he needs Jesus, but in sort of queer, ironic way.

And queer not meaning gay (and gay meaning homosexual not happy). Queer meaning weird.

See that's the trouble with words. They can't ever pin anything down.

 I also think that thinking about death is fabulous, in a fabulously dark way. Not in the way that kids write poetry about, you know, walls bleeding or whatever, but in the way that one actually begins to understand that they will die. I've been on this hobby horse for a while now. Because I am terrified of death. I'll admit it. I always have been. I never have not been. But now, only recently, maybe the last year and a half, I've decided to not be terrified anymore. It's hard, not being terrified of death is. Because you have to begin to know God, and begin to know that all of this is created and finite. And these are all terrible and wonderful things.

Also, I'm starting to think I might want to fall in love. Sometime soon.
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