02 December 2010

懐かしい, or things in the air

Snow, mainly. There is snow in the air.

I have to say that I have really been enjoying the snow. It has made me feel, as the Japanese say, 懐かしい. This word, pronounced 'natsukashii' means basically 'nostalgia', but it is used in a different way that the English word 'nostalgia'. I feel natsukashii when it snows: I think about Chicago and have all sorts of bittersweet feelings and want to go home and not go home at the same time. I mostly want to go home: it's been a while since I missed Christmas and it's been almost six years since we weren't with some sort of extended family. This year, my sister is coming, which will be great, but I still want to go home.

The snow has not kept me off my bike, although I did switch to Yoko's bike this morning, which is a mountain bike and does much better in the snow, although it is far, far too small for me. I was able to make it up and down hills without sliding and it's a bit like being on a snowmobile, or how I imagine being on a snowmobile to be.

Yoko is feeling a little better which bodes well for me getting some work done this weekend. I am both literally and metaphorically snowed under, but by about next Wednesday, it should begin to lighten and by the 17th, when I will have my last class at Middlesex for the year, I will be almost entirely free. I will go to work three days of the week of the 20th, I think and then take a full week and two days off for the holiday. Extravagant.

The end of the year is rolling around and having met some of my goals financially and academically and personally, I feel a bit like some relaxing may be in order for me. Not too much though: my weight, for example, still needs constant vigilance and I feel myself slipping back into wanting to eat too much and my weight ticked up today, not expectantly. This means that I need to keep up the exercise, which is hard this week as it has been so cold and I am marking essays from Birmingham. Without an extra half an hour at night to row, I am a bit lethargic. I have felt on at least two occasions this week completely without desire to do a task that was in front of me: write a simple e-mail, mark an essay, whatever. I hate that feeling and it only comes when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Well, like I said, by the end of December 8th, things should be back in order. Just have to press on until then and try not to think too much about not going home. Everything in its right place.
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