10 January 2012

Nothing in again

Well, my second attempt at fasting did okay. It wasn't as serious as before, but I still kept my harsh parameters of no calories. Got up, weighed myself, drank water, ran, went to work. This time, I was feeling not so hot after my ride home from work and decided to have a meal shake at 22 hours and around 7 had a banana and bagel. Twenty-four hours and some change. Naomi's been ill and the whole house has been a bit sedated, and I didn't think I was going to make it through the day. Anyway, I felt like I needed to get some energy and I'm not sure the 36 hour fast is going to work, particularly on days when I'm riding my bike and/or running, like I did yesterday.

It's clear to me that if I'm interested in staying healthy and sane, I gotta think about caloric intake and body weight. I stopped weighing myself everyday in October to stop obsessing about my weight, but I found myself in a much more stupid predicament: wondering if I was gaining weight. How stupid is that. Looking in the mirror and thinking, have I put on weight? So, screw that, I'm back to weighing myself. It's been much better the last couple of days of doing it.

And I have to think about caloric intake. Again, I think this is the best way for me to deal with things, instead of trying to eye-ball it. Helps me feel much more in control and less concerned about the trajectory of my life.

Am I thinking about my health to escape thinking about other, more important things, like, uh, my future? Yes. I mean, no. No, I'm not.

Naomi has an infection: she's going to be okay, but it's miserable when one of the kids is sick. Yoko's a trooper: I'm distant and confused, as per usual.

'Is it too much to pray to be rich forever?' -Rick Ross. Yes, Rick. It is.

Gotta run tonight for 5 miles. Going to run home. Run home. I like that. Supervision tomorrow which will set me back six-or seven weeks back. I'll do my best.
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