15 February 2004

“How much English would a lady have to know before you would consider a blossoming relationship?”

I rode my bike deep into the rural areas of Fukuoka today. After getting over a couple of mountains, I ended up at the ocean. I sort of poked around for a while looking at stuff and whatnot and decided that I should climb out on some rocks in the water. So I did that and was enjoying myself until I got hit by a wave right in the bum and my shoes got all filled up with water. I tried to get back, but the waves just kept coming and coming. I rode home all wet, then went to get pizza at Meinohama with DK.

Filled with pizza and waiting for our train, I asked DK a question that he had asked me a while back, “How much English would a lady have to know before you would consider a blossoming relationship?” We conversed on this topic a while. With no current permanent return to the States in sight, I’ve come to the conclusion that the right question is, "How much Japanese do I need to know before I consider a relationship with someone who only speaks Japanese?" Plus, I know how to say "I like you" in Japanese. I’ll keep that one in my back pocket.

Ogawa Sensei, the President of the Evangelical Free Church of Japan, said that DK and I should come up to Tokyo so he can introduce ourselves to some women up there — he actually said that and I totally hear him.

It sounds to me like the Evangelical Christians, recently emboldened by the new Mel Gibson movie (careful kids, he’s Catholic), are just going wild in the States. I’ve recently read news articles about the following: 1) A Christian pilot asking all the Christians on his plane to raise their hands and then telling them to share their faith with someone else on the plane. Don’t believe me? Well, I wouldn't either. 2) Southern Baptist missionaries going to New York to try converting people by postmodern means. They use Post-modern “lingo” (who knows what that means) and dress hip. One service featured a sermon entitled “Sex in the City,” but watch out all you non-converts who go looking for a good time, despite the title, we Christians tend to believe that sex before marriage is bad thing. Also, if you sign up to pray for the ministry, you can get a link to a confidential site that has a prayer map of the city so you know what parts of the town to pray for including the bars and the mosques (though the mosques aren’t specifically noted as “prayer targets”). I wonder if the Southern Baptist missionaries are trying to disguise their accents. 3) I’ll just say that I think most everyone agrees that Britney is a bad influence on the kids' body image, sexual maturation, etc. and an embarrassment to the institution of marriage. 4) It also sounds like every church in America is going as a congregation to see Gibson’s new movie. Again, careful: He’s a Catholic.

I don’t know how I feel about any of that. I’m spending enough time thinking about missions in Japan. I’m not really that cynical. Also, I think I am going to get the Yamaha Vino. Screw what people think about my sexual orientation.