19 February 2004

Smoking my pipe

Recently, I purchased a pipe on ebay and also some tobacco from another online seller. Now that I am becoming a pipe smoker I’ve been thinking about 101 different ways I will smoke my pipe. By the way, it took me for-fricken-ever to write this so show some courtesy and at least read the first 60.

1) In the men's/ ladies' room
2) On the freaking beach
3) On a scooter
4) On a train
5) When I’m feeling a little bit cynical
6) With a fox
7) While teaching English to children
8) While listening to Godspeed!
9) On the apartment balcony
10) At a baseball game
11) While eat some sort of nut or nut by-product
12) While drinking a Smirnoff
13) In a smoking jacket
14) In the shower
15) While watching Japanese television
16) When it’s snowing
17) At the Karaoke bar
18) As the world is ending
19) Instead of putting my pants on
20) While studying Japanese
21) On the crapper
22) With a lady
23) After finding nothing useful to eat in the pantry
24) While reading John Calvin
25) On a camel
26) Especially when I’m feeling optimistic
27) When the situation calls for some panache
28) For a Free Tibet
29) When I’m feeling contemplative
30) After sleeping “it” off
31) Uh, what’s “it”?
32) Obviously you’re not a golfer
33) Instead of eating sushi
34) While ironing
35) In my underwear
36) While lawn bowling
37) On the phone
38) While praying
39) After a long train ride
40) Before a long train ride
41) For peace in the middle east
42) While considering the Japanese articles
43) In the summer
44) With your mom
45) After many years of bitterness
46) When it’s raining
47) At a Jazz club
48) Anywhere the “man” doesn’t want me to smoke it
49) In China
50) On a boat
51) With Kame chan, Kagi san’s pet turtle
52) While eating Pop tarts sent from the States
53) While considering pacifism.
54) While considering the effect of the West on Japan
55) While considering missions in Japan
56) After eating some freaking Dombiri
57) At someone’s bachelor party
58) Of course, while listening to Bob Dylan
59) With Tea
60) When the Presidential race gets boring
61) With all my friends and lovers
62) Uh, you don’t have any lovers
63) Shut up
64) When thinking of the next Herbie cartoon
65) In the spring
66) For an end to sexual harassment in the workplace
67) While admiring the Cherry blossoms
68) While conversing about one of my two expertise
69) At Thunder Mountain
70) In the woods
71) While walking up the stairs to Atago Shrine
72) While “sharing the love”
73) While navigating the troubling waters of economic relations
74) While making fun of Tom Bazan
75) While making fun of Bob Allen
76) At the boat races
77) At the dog races
78) In Minnesota
79) While doing the dishes
80) After receiving my first honorary doctorate in something related to medicine
81) Or in something related to poetry
82) Or baseball
83) Basically, anything
84) While thinking of places to smoke my pipe
85) While drawing the next Herbie cartoon
86) While taking pictures of everything Japanese I find interesting
87) Maybe at a Radiohead show
88) When I come to a difficult situation and think, “Screw it, I’m going to smoke my pipe.”
89) On a Tuesday
90) While “keeping it real”
91) When feeling cynical about dumb blogs
92) While eating Pocky Sticks
93) While watching Hitchcock
94) While reading Faulkner
95) On my bike
96) While considering my place in history
97) While dusting
98) When I start calling all my real good friends “Red," "Rusty," and “Bud”
99) Around midnight
100) After you stop by
101) Uh, well, basically anywhere