Add this to the list of relatively dumb things I’ve done in my life regarding my hair (right up there with, “Oh, yeah I just took the guard off and shaved” and “Yeah! Dreads! Awesome!”).
(After me and DK have gotten haircuts)
Me (looking in mirror): Dude, it’s a mullet.
DK: It’s not so much a mullet, they just didn’t really taper it.
Me: (pause) It’s a freaking mullet. Oh wait, wait, dude, here, just take my beard trimmer and fix it.
DK: I don’t know about that.
Me: No, no it’ll be fine.
DK: How about I just use my sideburn trimmer, I think that would be better.
Me: No, no the beard trimmer. Here, go.
DK: (apprehensive) Uh, okay. (cutting) Uh…
Me: How’s it look?
DK: Well, it’s definitely shorter.
Me: That’s good right?
DK: Well, it’s not so tapered now. I think we need to use the hairclippers.
Me: Okay, okay, no, this is okay, we’re okay.
DK: (using hairclippers) Uh…
Me: How’s it looking?
DK: Gotta wait ‘til I’m done.
Me: (after clipper stops) Well?
DK: Uh, I think I need the other guard now. I mean, it’s tapered, sort of.
Me: (giving another guard) Well?
DK: Uh, hold on. (laughing) Oh crap.
Well, I don’t have a mullet anymore. It’s not quite even in the back. But I don’t have to look at it, so I’m fine. And I think I’m still well on my way to growing my hair out. Well on my way.