Here in Japan, Avril Lavigne is enjoying modest success with her new record, whatever it's called. This isn't really that ridiculous I guess, but given that not all US bands find a place in the J-POP world, it's interesting to me that Ms. Lavigne has a market here. More importantly and as many of you may know, I have, for several years, been nursing a crush on Avril Lavigne and her no-nonsense, love-'em-and-leave rock, uh--Okay, I'm going to start that sentence over: I think Avril Lavigne is great, just great. She makes me blush (there, I said it). In a conversation tonight with my brother, I began to say that I really like her voice, but caught myself when I realized how ridiculous what I was saying was. Of course I don't like Avril Lavigne's music. It's garbage. We all know that. And it's not that I'm really physical attracted to her. It's just that... well, as Richard Yates says, she makes my ears turn red. If you've heard her new single, you also know that she is a woman of virtue and isn't "that kind of grrrl." She wants to stop hanging out with guys who are all about the sex, and more interested in, well, I guess the Get Up Kids and the Dashboard Confessional. So really, I can't go wrong. I think as far as safe crushes for an aspiring celibate like myself to have, Avril Lavigne is the tops. So tell everyone you know, if you want.