Democracy in my computer

My computer is working just about as well as Democracy in Iraq. So I am sending it home to the States where we love Democracy. Don't know when it will be back.

On the brighter side, I think I'm going to start a Master's degree this year in Applied Linguistics. Actually, I've just been saying that to see how it fits. It fits well, I think. Anyway, I want to start in April, but (pockets empty) I think I'm going to have to wait until October. It's through the University of Birmingham so forgive me if I start saying things like dodgy and call chips crisps.

Making kids cry

I've had two days of making kids cry. Yesterday was entirely my fault as I kind of picked on a kid that I thought would be a good sport about it. That was a really, really bad call. Then today, I made a little girl cry, but I'd rather blame that situation on the fact that Japanese society doesn't create safe places for young girls to express themselves so they're all terrified of making a mistake in front of people. When Steve-o, the ALT from Excitement Town, shows up, all bets are off.

The woman who started the rumor about me and my Chinese girlfriend saw me today and realized that it wasn't me that she saw going to China, but another teacher who doesn't look anything like me, but is American. So much for my playboy reputation. I guess I'll go back to wearing sweatpants at home.

Also, I want to move to Korea.

Back in Niigata

I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to whatever, but here I am so let's try and do this up respectable like:

1. Yeah, I was back for Christmas and yeah, it kicked my ass in all the best ways. I just finally downloaded all my pictures and most of them are of Tom looking confused, angry, or elated. I like having a lot of pictures of Tom. This is a picture of Tom with a shirt that says, I'm German, not germane!
2. Yeah, I'm back in Niigata and it's okay. My company kind of has been doing all it can to make me want to up and quit, but I haven't because of my "upbringing." I think Ifm going to stick it out.
3. So now, I'm keeping it as real as I can.
4. My sister was here for a little while last week, which was pretty great. We hung out with my friend, Ishikawa sensei and his wife all day on Saturday. Went up to the mountains and had a bath and stuff. It was nice. Ishikawa sensei is just about my dad's age. We actually just went RV shopping. And then we had a bath.
5. I've been hanging out at the Japanese equivalent of IV which is pretty great. I'm doing this for the expressed purpose of learning Japanese better and strengthening my rather weak faith, but I am also, secretly, wondering if one day I might be called upon to procreate and should that happen, I need to have the right lady on hand to put up with all the nonsense that comes from being my procreating partner. Anyway, the ladies are great, but I can't speak enough Japanese to make heads or tails of their potential attraction or repulsion to the dude. Stay tuned.
6. Today, Ishikawa sensei says to me, "I heard something about you." And I said, "Wha's that Ishikawa sensei?" and he said, "A teacher from Yamanoshita saw you at Niigata airport with a Chinese girl." Well, unfortunately, it wasn't me and I tried to convince Ishikawa sensei that it wasn't me, but he spent the whole time we were RV shopping talking about how me and my Chinese girlfriend could hangout in the RV together. This was all taking place in my broken Japanese and finally, the salesperson was like, "Excuse me, but who's this Chinese woman?"
7. I will be home right about the 25th of July as I decided missing the wedding was just about the worst mistake I could ever make, ever. So now I just need my company to come through and give me some time off and for a couple of hundred dollars to float my way.
8. I'll leave you with this image of me, frustrated, because I lost at Life on New Years Eve. Yeah, I lost at Life. That's pretty damn disconcerting, if you ask me.

New Years in the US

I'm reading the most fabulous short story by James Kennedy. It's called "The Lam of Hal Hamburger."

"Did you know that the center of the moon is filled with water? Maybe you did, but I bet you didn't know you could take a little submarine rides in it... We went in and floated there, and my insides did flips, and it was dim and I was nervous and then she coiled her weird warm body around me and held me and we looked into the dark cold moon waters with the sad fish and drifting red and gold masses of spindly weeds and blobs of goo, and she bit me. She bit me hard. I tried to shout but I could hardly whisper and she kept biting, her teeth sank deep inside me, and I tried to squirm away but she coiled tighter around me, whispering sweet, sweet and biting. I said, 'What are you doing?' 'I am eating you,' she whispered."