12 August 2005

Korean Wife Search, Day 4

Day 4 has brought us to the beautiful island of Jeju in search of my wife. I was really down on the search earlier today — really disappointed in the country, but mostly, myself. Had I lost my talent?Tonight, at a bar, we met a woman, a barkeep to be exact, who said she didn't believe in anything. I think that must be exhausting for her. Anyway, she gave either me or Jim a free drink and because Jim doesn't drink, I drank it. It was good. I asked her in Japanese, Which one of us is more attractive: Me or Jim? She just laughed and said that I was cute, and Jim was handsome. Cute? What does that mean? Seriously, this can't be good for the dude.

In related, not-good-things-for-me, me and Jim found ourselves surrounded by a bunch of naked kids in the Sauna and they asked us, "Do you like Michael Jackson?"

Me, right now, to kid under the computer portal next to me: Dude, what are you doing down there?
Kid: Fast, fast.
Me: That's right, dude.

Also, I was heavily constipated for a couple of days but that seems to have passed now that I took a fabulous Korean laxative. Although it has created a new problem for which I had to create a safety word. The safety word is "Oh shit." I think we all know what that means.

Anyway, this is a great country filled with many great things. And kimchi. Everywhere kimchi.