11 December 2005


It's been a week of coming and going. Hard at work coming to grips with myself in all sorts of ways, I've decided it would probably be best to give up my dream of becoming a bullfighter.

When I was seven or eight and I was upset about something and sitting out on the front porch of the Sleck house and Mrs. Sleck told me that I was insecure. I haven't quite gotten over that yet. This insecurity — which is oddly enough 不安-fu-an- in Japanese, the same feeling I claimed to be suffering from last month — has come up in many ways in the last week. I've decided that I don't want to be an asshole anymore which, unfortunately, means chucking a couple of things, the first being writing letters to Evangelical Christian musicians and calling them shams. No more of that; it's just not good for anyone.

I'm sure other things will follow.

This may mean I will write things that are largely uninteresting and full of shoe-gazing. Please, stop reading now.

Oh wait. Wait, wait. This is a lot of fun here. Me and Neal helped Jim put on a Thanksgiving feast this weekend and it all turned out really great. I took some pictures and in a spirit of sharing and thanks that we often associate with this holiday, I share them with you.

If that wasn't enough, Neal finally got me these pictures from September. As Pynchon wrote: "Fuck the war, we're in love."