27 November 2006

Tries to not give into wicked impulses

Recently, I have had some wicked impulses, most of them directed at my asshole neighbor who has stolen from me on several occasions. As some of you know, in Japan we often heat using kerosene. We keep this kerosene in big 18 or 20 liter tanks outside of our houses because it smells like gas. My next door neighbor has been "helping" himself to my kerosene. This made me very livid until today when I had the most brilliant revenge idea to fill the tank with unleaded gasoline instead of kerosene. Hapless neighbor steals "kerosene" and subsequently blows up his apartment.

There are a couple of problems with this, namely, that when he blows up his apartment, he will probably blow up my apartment as well and I'm also not sure I want to kill him. My next idea, less evil but still getting the job done is to fill the tank half with water. This will just result in ruining his heater and not, you know, killing him. I was proud of myself for thinking that up. Not that I would ever really do it, but it's good to know I can at least conceive of it.