29 September 2010

Success

Today, I took my French oral final, completing all the coursework. Now I am finished. From about May of this year, I've been saying that my goal in this class was just to finish and pass. Well, I finished and I'm pretty sure I passed, but I have sort of a bad taste in my mouth about it. I did poorly on the oral final. I froze up when speaking and produced really bad work for the first minute or so. Luckily, the last three minutes were pretty fluid and I pulled it out of the ditch.

Even though I got what I said I wanted, I'm a firm believer in the axiom, 'Anything worth doing is worth doing well.' I think Abraham Lincoln said that. (I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours. I said that.) And I did not do this well. I didn't put time into it the way I should have. I studied for the final, but only minimally, telling people who were asking if I was studying my French for the final, Well, I'm studying the 10 sentences I need to produce to pass, yes. I probably will get a 55 (which is well above passing) on that test, and probably score around 70-75 overall in the course.

I was hoping finishing would be a load off, but the poor way in which I did, I was frustrated. I took a walk: I should have done better. I should have tried harder. For five years, I taught English and I hated students like me, kids who never gave 100% and didn't really care. I hated people who studied for tests but couldn't answer simple questions.

As the whole French thing started with Paris, I think I need to go back to Paris to feel it again. I suspect I will do better on the ground there. But I suppose I have something: I have passed Introduction to French and I'm happy it's done.