Remember yesterday...

...when you thought, Hey, I'm almost done with my analysis and going to start writing up at the end of January? Ha. Double ha.

No, no, the pushing back is a bit scary, I'll tell you that, but I do think that I'm not lost, haven't lost my schedule, just yet. I'm going to get there, just not the way I thought. The PhD is like that, I think. You are going to get there, just not the way you thought. The most terrifying word came out today, though: extension. Oh my god, no, god, please no. It wasn't said in a definite way, as in, You'll need to apply to extend your funding. No, it was just hinted at, in relation to my concerns about the future. You might want to think about...


Essentially, there are a few paths my life could take in 2012.

1. My bid for funding with the ESRC (to work at Lancaster) goes through and I am guaranteed work after my PhD leading to several nested possibilities:
• I finish my PhD (am examined) by the end of the funding period (September 2012) and have corrections to do starting my job, but I am essentially done.
• I don't finish my PhD and apply for an extension of my funding at the OU, work for an additional 3 months on my PhD, and start at Lancaster in January, with no gap in funding.
• I don't finish my PhD on time, don't get funding from the OU and need to:
• start the job at Lancaster while finishing up my writing on my thesis
• take one or two unfunded months to finish the PhD before starting
2. The bid for funding is not successful and I 
• finish my PhD (am examined) by the end of the funding period (September 2012) and
• miraculously find work in the UK
• miraculously find work in Japan or elsewhere in the world starting from October 2012
• find some sort of work in the States 
• don't finish my PhD and apply for an extension of my funding at the OU, work for an additional 3 months on my PhD
• miraculously find work in the UK
• find work in Japan starting from Spring 2012
• find some sort of work in the States 
• don't finish my PhD on time, don't get funding from the OU and need to:
• take one or two unfunded months to finish the PhD before:
• who the hell knows.

That was fun to write out.

So. I have a lot to do over Christmas. I thought I was going to take Christmas off. No, that's not going to happen. How determined can I be. Let's please, please, please make this happen on time.

I took a deep breath. I revised my schedule and see that, yes, I can make this happen by the end of January, per my plan. Not worrying is such a challenge. I