26 March 2012


There are only a few months left in this project. Even if I end up doubling the time it takes, I will be done by the end of the year. I'm just frustrated with the lack of convergence at this point and the feeling that I am the only one who wants this end. The project can't go on indefinitely, and I need help finishing it, not trying new things, not adding another analytic framework. I just want to be done. I know that, given the freedom, I could just finish it. But this can't be submitted until my supervisor signs off.

More work to be done.

I woke up late today thanks to forgetting to change the time on my phone to British Summer Time. I needed to run and run fast, which I did, but had to stop about 1.5 miles short to use the toilet, something that has been a recurring theme since I completely lost control of my eating. This has happened to me several times in my exercise/dieting career, where I become absolutely ravenous and will eat everything and anything around me. It's not great—not only do I not feel full, but I am depressed about my lack of control and I can't run as fast as I want to. I feel bloated, not empty, and I have to start again. Something needs to change so that I stop this cycle, but I'm not sure what it is.

The good news is that the 3.3 miles I did run were very fast, and running fast short distances is good news for me, because I usually run my fastest when I am 60%-80% finished with a run. That is, the first miles are never the fastest, so if I can run 3 miles at 7:18min/miles, I can keep that up for another 3 or 4 without much trouble. So that's good. I just have to get control of my weight. I want to run at 75 kgs, and I was 79 this Sunday. Up about 2–3 kgs on my low this year. 

Anybody have any good news? Oh yeah, Mia smiling at me.