15 July 2013


I have been waiting and waiting to experience Ramadan, but now that it's here, I've felt like it's happening around the corners, right outside of my eyesight. On Saturday, we went to the big shopping mall and the food court was essentially closed except for two or three places feeding the Chinese and the other kafir. At night, twice now, I have gone out in search of night bazaars, but it has been largely quiet in Kajang. No endless party through the night — just long queues of weary looking people at the KFC. Where is the clarity? Where are the endless invitations to iftar, the dates? Instead, I have again been sucked into some alternate universe where I can't seem to stop myself from eating, like I have taken over for the whole country.

Fasting is not something you do, of course, it's something you avoid doing. So there's nothing to see. The azan for maghrib seems louder than normal. I have this sense of communal accomplishment when it comes, like we have made it through the day, despite my lack of involvement. Auntie and Uncle's house is full of life and excitement, from what I can tell across the alley. Still, there is less to be seen than I hoped...